


The Other Girl

by Shadowheartdesigns (shadowkitten)



Category: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, References to Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-12
Updated: 2013-02-12
Packaged: 2017-11-29 01:28:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/681141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowkitten/pseuds/Shadowheartdesigns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sayaka seemed like she was having a hard time. She was fighting with one of her friends over a boy ... This must be really hard on the other girl, too. Normally it'd just wind up a bittersweet memory, but with this happening ...." </p><p>-Saotome Kazuko.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Other Girl

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Puella Magi Madoka Magica or any associated characters.

Hitomi stood in the middle of her bedroom. Her eyes were wide, glazed over with shock. On the floor beside her were the scattered pages of a newspaper. Prominently visible was a picture of Miki Sayaka, in one of her happier moments. Hitomi couldn't place when the picture was taken, but somehow she knew that she had been there.

Or … had been physically present. The more she looked at it, the less she was certain that she had ever really _been there_ when it came to Sayaka.

Her cell phone rang. She turned to look at it, watching the display light, watching it jostle around as it buzzed and played some classical ring-tone. She didn't know what it was, and had only chosen it to represent Kyousuke because … well, obvious reasons. He played classical music.

The phone stopped ringing, and she sighed. Five missed calls, the display read.

“It's time. Time to make up for all that I put you through, Sayaka-chan.”

It was all her fault. Oh, everyone told her otherwise. Her mom. Her dad. Kyousuke. Even that transfer student, Akemi-san, had taken time out to tell her that Sayaka was a lost cause, and to not probe too closely.

The police had talked to her about it. Sayaka's body found, lifeless, in a suprisingly good state of preservation for how long she had been missing, in a hotel room. Something about some street girl using that room from time to time had come out, but the manager had been short on details. The police had talked to Sayaka's friends, including Hitomi. They had told her she wasn't responsible.

But she knew better. She had stolen Kyousuke from her. Sayaka loved him so much. So very much. And she had stolen him from her. Reached in and just ripped her heart, her soul, right out of her body. And she knew it. She knew what she was doing.

Hitomi closed her eyes. She didn't want to cry now. She didn't want to think now. All she wanted to do was to make it stop hurting. The big hole that was in her chest now, punched there by the news of Sayaka's death. It was too much. To know she would never see Sayaka again. That she'd never hear her jokes, never get to play up to her again. Never see her horse around with Madoka. They really did look cute together, Hitomi had to admit.

_I feel like a fifth wheel around you._

She hadn't really been much of a friend for a while. She always said such hurtful things to Sayaka. She had criticized her crush on Madoka … even as she was jealous of the pink-haired girl for having Sayaka's friendship in a way she never would. Would it have hurt anyone to have been kind, to have encouraged Sayaka instead of tearing her down? Maybe … maybe it would've hurt Hitomi herself.

Her cell phone rang again. Kyousuke. The sixth time he had called in the last hour. She wasn't going to answer it. She couldn't stand the idea of talking to him. His voice would remind her of Sayaka. It was unbearable. She refused to even consider the idea. But she also couldn't stop thinking of him while the ring tone was sounding, so she couldn't stop thinking about Sayaka, sitting there beside Kyousuke in the hospital. Talking to him. Giving him CDs. Being such a close, and dear friend. Assuming that he loved her.

“Dammit, why Sayaka? Why did you have to be such an idiot! So damn blind … You couldn't see how he felt about you. Couldn't see how I felt about him … or … about you either.”

Hitomi suddenly grabbed her cell phone and threw it hard against the wall. It shattered, falling onto the floor in pieces. But at least it wasn't ringing any more.

She looked up to the ceiling. A rope hung from the lamp. It was tied at the end into a long loop. Hitomi shuddered, and looked back down at her feet. How did she manage to tie it, she wondered. The idea of placing her neck in that loop, and kicking away the chair, and swinging … no, she couldn't do it … but she had tied it off thinking of doing it. She couldn't go on with what she knew about Sayaka, what she had done to her. What she had said .. more importantly what she had not said.

Intolerable.

She couldn't commit suicide. She couldn't go on living. She looked at the wreckage of her cell phone, and gasped in surprise. Had she actually done that? Had she really been able to summon the energy to destroy it? She shook her head, and looked away.

She had to do something. She had to. But … but what. She saw the picture of Sayaka in the paper again, and fell to her knees.

“Sorry. So, so sorry. Sayaka. I … I'd do anything to get you back.”

_Anything?_

She nodded softly.

“I wish that Miki Sayaka were still alive. I'd gladly trade places with her.”

_Do you mean that? Do you really mean that, Shizuki Hitomi?_

“I … I don't know. I don't know what to think any more.”

_All you need to do is make a contract with me. I'll fulfill any one wish you have. You've already voiced that wish. You just need to agree to become a Puella Magi, and to fight Witches. Agree to that contract, and Miki Sayaka can come back to you._

Hitomi jolted up suddenly. She was on the floor. Had she blacked out? She looked around, but didn't see anyone. Or hear anyone. What was that … voice? In her head? It made no sense. Bring Sayaka back? Impossible. The dead don't come back to life.

She looked back up to the ceiling. The loop of rope was still there. She hadn't imagined that. She looked at the wreckage of her cell phone. Hadn't imagined that either.

She stood, and with shaking hands, grabbed her chair. She placed it in the middle of the room, beneath the rope, and slowly, carefully, climbed up onto the chair. She looked at the rope. Looked at the loop, and took it in one hand. She ran her fingers along the inner curve, the curve where her neck would fit. The rough texture of the rope would chafe, and irritate her neck, she knew. The strength of the rope, pulled taught by her own body weight, would cut off air and blood. She would suffocate, choke to death, as she swung there in mid-air. Would that be enough to satisfy Sayaka? Would she find peace at last, knowing how her former friend had given up, and had taken her own life?

Hitomi shook her head, and without hesitation reached up to untie the rope from the ceiling lamp. It fell to the floor, landing atop the newspaper with its printed photograph of Miki Sayaka. She stepped down from the chair, and placed it back in front of her computer.

 “No. No, I gave her a chance. I told her what I was going to do. I offered her a voice. I … maybe I should have told her more. But the choice was hers. I didn't force her to stay quiet. I didn't sneak around behind her back. I didn't confess to Kyousuke until after Sayaka had her chance. She didn't take it. It might not have mattered. It might have. But she didn't take it.”

 The front doorbell rang. She was home alone. She took the noose that she had tied, that she had intended to end her life with, and tossed it hastily under her bed. Then she ran downstairs, opened the door, and collapsed into Kyousuke's arms.

 “I was worried. You didn't answer your phone.”

 “I couldn't. It … fell.”

 “Fell?”

 “Uh huh. Fell from my computer desk.”

 Kyousuke sighed softly.

 “You're still blaming yourself for what happened to Sayaka, aren't you?”

“Huh?”  
  
“What really happened to your phone?”

“It fell. After … I had thrown it.”

Kyousuke chuckled.

“I thought so.”

“Dammit, why did she have to die!”

“I don't know Hitomi. But I do know that what happened happened. We can't change the past.”

“Can't we?”

He grinned.

“Well, sometimes impossible things happen. I mean ... they did tell me that I would never play the violin again, right?”

Hitomi's eyes went wide.

_I'll fulfill any one wish you have ....  
_

No … no, she had imagined that. Neither magic nor miracles exist. They weren't real. All that was real was what she could see in front of her right now. Kyousuke. She clung to him, desperately, and allowed herself to cry for Miki Sayaka.

**Author's Note:**

> Revised version of the original posted at Fanfiction.net.


End file.
